EventHorizon1984 Log

Last Generation

Last Generation
31 July 2012
EventHorizon1984

As said on Monty Python's Flying Circus:
"And now for something completely different."

This is a fan fiction draft.  No rights to characters below should be inferred.

"In confusion there is profit."
Lt. Nicholas Holden, Operation Petticoat (1959)

The starship moved in powered orbit around a glowing world.  The cruiser remained invisible to millions of other orbiting ships, being for the most part ignored.  It was the lull before a pre-known planetary chaos.  Taking advantage of this moment, nearly all her crew were foraging for parts on the surface.  Shopping takes an extrodinary priority, on a starship traveling the multiverse.

One of her skeleton crew was able to enjoy a rare moment of quiet.  Mostly.

"Captain we have to go down there!" Ash
"You know how this plays out.  We don't interfere."  Captain DeCarlo.
"Request permission ..."
"Denied."
"Try and stop me."
Ash stormed off the bridge.
DeCarlo sat down, and slowly sipped a mug of coffee.  When the mug was empty,  "Security.  Do not prep a shuttle, do not leave it unguarded, and do not permit the shuttle egress from the landing bay."
"Our last shuttle departed five minutes ago." toned one of mobile AI units.
"Where?"
"The planetary capital.  And sir, a fighter launched with orders to pursue."
Silence.
"Sir?"
"Stand down from security alert." 

The last of the skeleton crew looked at the main view screen. "Good luck gentlemen."

"We stand between the darkness and the light."
Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5

Planetary Capital.  The beginning of the long twilight.

"This is A Number One the dumbest move you're ever going to make." said Ash as he strode toward a building.

He entered, paused to listen, then moved toward the scampering noises in the semi-darkness.  "It's ok.  I'm here to help."

Boot steps echoed behind Ash.  He whirled, shotgun aimed at chest level.

"I knew you hated me." said Jack Deth.
"Get back on your ride, and get the hell out of Dodge!"
"YOU got me stuck on that rust bucket." Deth pulled out a micro-gun from his pack.  "I'll be damned if you run off and leave me there.  What the hell has got you spooked?"
"Do you have any idea where we are?"
"Not a clue."
Ash raised an eyebrow, "Surely you jest."
"I kid you not.  And don't call me Shirley."

The sound of footsteps in the darkness grew louder and closer.  Figures appeared in the dim light.

"You've got to be kidding me."  Deth
"Now do you get it?"  Ash
Deth looked at the children and snapped his fingers.  Mad Max Beyond Thunderdoom.  We're on Earth?"

"That's "Mad Max Beyond ThunderDOME".   And You Are Clueless."
Deth looked at his sensor pack.  "Bodies on the move outside.  Energy weapons.  Fans of yours?"
"Can you keep them busy?"
"What about skinny over there?"  Deth pointed his M-gun at a man standing at the entrance.
"He's a hostile, and you ARE totally clueless."
Deth let loose with a hail of explosive needle rounds interspersed with the gattling laser bursts.  The stranger deftly moved away from the cloud of fire.
"Okay.  You handle tall geeky and mysterious, and I'll say hello to your fan club."
"Be seeing you death."
Deth headed outside, "Don't get all mushy on me."

Ash pumped both barrels at the approaching man.  LIghtning flashed in the dim light.  Small broken pellets hit the stone floor.

Anakin Skywalker reached out and force pushed Ash into a wall.  Ash slammed into the wall, his shotgun shattering on impact.

Ash extracted himself from the wall.  Bleeding, bruised, and with an insane amount of adrenalin coursing through his system.  With a muscle flex his chainsaw roared into life.  Adamantium blades humming on their tracks.

"Come get some." Ash

Outside Deth was partially preoccupied with crowd control, and partially listening to the sounds echoing from the building.

Whoosh, Wirrrrr, Bussk
Varoom, Wirrrr Brrrrr, Bussk
Wirrr, Vroom, Wirrr, Vroom Vroom, Wirrr.

Long agonizing minutes later, the outside courtyard was silent.  But the battle inside raged.

Vroom Vroom, Wirrrr, Bussk Bussk.
Vroom, VROOM, Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh, Bussk Bussk Bussk BUSSK
...
Wirrr, Brrrrrrk, clatter, WIRRR, WIRRR, WIRRR, WIRRRmm
WRsputtersputter
vroomvroomvroomvroom ... vroomvroomvroomvroom ...
Clunk

The long silence broke when Ash saunted onto the courtyard.  Covered in blood he collapsed.  Deth closed the distance, but sensed movement in the entryway before he could check on Ash.  He pointed M-gun toward the doorway.

Children poured out of the building.  Some crouched over the fallen figure, and laid glowing hands on him.  Ash violently coughed.

"Take it easy Maxy."  said Deth.
Ash pointed at the piles of Stormtroopers, "You really really don't know."
"Perps in ugly armor.  Lousy armor by the way.  So?"
"Star Wars."
"The Imperium's interstellar wars?"
"Jedi. Sith. Freaking lightsabers!"
Deth unclipped a cylindrical object from his belt, "You mean these weird things are weapons not decoration??"  Deth stared into the projector, "Where's the on switch?"

En-mass the Jedi in training propped Ash up.  The oldest turned toward Deth and plucked the lightsaber from his hand, then glided away.   A purple beam vroomed from the projector end, then swiftly disappeared.  Grinning from ear to ear, she carefully handed it back.  Deth shuddered, "Keep it."

"He is clueless."
"I rout an army in the darkness solo handed, and insults are all I get."

Ash stood up weakly and walked toward his shuttle.  The children escorted him.

"Jack I guarantee just for you movie night all this week will have episodes one through nine."
"What happened inside?"

Ash coughed blood, then grinned as he entered the shuttle.

"Director's Cut."

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"Can't make the same mistake this time.
We are the children
The last generation
We are the ones they left behind."
Tina Turner - We Don't Need Another Hero
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985)

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Ash (Ashley J. Williams)
Army of Darkness (1992)
Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash (2007-2008)

             VS          

                                                                                          Anakin Skywalker
                                                                          Star Wars:  Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Ash is the property of Sam Raimi ETAL.
Anakin Skywalker is the property of George Lucas ETAL.
Jack Deth is the property of Charles Band ETAL.
Mad Max is the property of George Miller ETAL
Captain DeCarlo is the property of David Stroup ETAL.

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Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash

"Come get some."
Ash, Army of Darkness (1985)

See also "Freddy vs Jason vs Ash" Fan Film by Trent Duncan.

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Twelve Days In July - IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times

Twelve Days In July - IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times
Friday The Thirteenth July 2012 Edition
EventHorizon1984

The eclectic news of the first part of July was eye opening and sad.

5.  Do you know what is one of PayPal's (owned by eBay INC) largest expenses?

Visa, MasterCard reportedly close to settling retailers' lawsuit
6 July 2012

• "swipe fees, mostly for credit cards, constituted about 38% of PayPal's expenses in 2011"
• "In mid-morning trading, Visa lost 0.91% to $125.86, Mastercard fell 0.24% to $442.97, and eBay retreated 0.83% to $40.59."

4.  Keep telling yourself that "Foundation" ¹ and "Person of Interest" are fiction.  For now.

Sci-fi policing: predicting crime before it occurs
Associated Press - Greg Risling - 1 July 2012

• "Los Angeles police are aiming to beat suspects to the scene of a crime by using computers to predict where trouble might occur."

¹ Psychohistory - Isaac Asimov's Foundation series and short stories are where the predictive science of Psychohistory originates.  Psychohistory being, "combined history, psychology and mathematical statistics to create a (nearly) exact science of the behavior of very large populations of people".
Incidentally Isaac Asimov's short story "Foundation" was published in May 1942.

"Now any dogma, based primarily on faith and emotionalism, is a dangerous weapon to use on others, since it is almost impossible to guarantee that the weapon will never be turned on the user."
Ankor Jael, Foundation (1951), Isaac Asimov

3.  Change your Yahoo! passwords lately?

Yahoo investigating reported mass password breach
Associated Press - 12 July 2012

• "Yahoo Inc. said Thursday it is investigating reports of a security breach that may have exposed nearly half a million users' email addresses and passwords."
• "Technology news websites including CNET, Ars Technica, and Mashable cited hackers calling themselves the D33D Company as claiming responsibility for the attack, adding that data posted to the group's website carried more than 453,000 login credentials"

2.  Higgs Boson Discovered.  Or not.

Higgs boson-like particle discovery claimed at LHC
BBC News - Paul Rincon - 4 July 2012

"Prof Peter Higgs, after whom the particle is named, wiped a tear from his eye as the teams finished their presentations in the Cern auditorium.
"I would like to add my congratulations to everyone involved in this achievement," he added later.
"It's really an incredible thing that it's happened in my lifetime.""

Higgs Boson Imposters?  It's Possible, Say Scientists
PCWorld - James Mulroy - 12 July 2012

• "some scientists have suggested that CERN's experimental results may be the result of impostor particles, albeit Higgs-like impostors."
• "The preprint explains that the particle discovery at CERN could be either a generic Higgs doublet, a Higgs triplet, a mixture of particles including the Higgs and another particle, or of course, the Higgs boson as the Standard Model predicts."

And what is the exact mass of the Higgs Boson?

131.313 GeV?

1.  Ernest Borgnine passes away at age 95.

Ernest Borgnine, Oscar-Winning Actor, Dies at 95
The New York Times - Anita Gates - 8 July 2012

"Ermes Effron Borgnino was born on Jan. 24, 1917, in Hamden, Conn., near New Haven. His father was a railroad brakeman. His mother was said to be the daughter of a count, Paolo Boselli, an adviser to King Victor Emmanuel of Italy.

The boy spent several years of his childhood in Italy, where his mother returned during a long separation from her husband. But they returned to Connecticut, and he graduated from high school there.

He joined the Navy at 18 and served for 10 years. During World War II he was a gunner’s mate. After the war he considered factory jobs, but his mother suggested that he try acting. Her reasoning, he reported, was, “You’ve always liked making a damned fool of yourself.”"

Not enough can be said about the classic and classy actor Ernest Borgnine.

We'll let Mr. Borgnine do it.

On The Road with Ernest Borgnine

Ernest Borgnine Remembers

Ernest Borgnine on working with Tim Conway

• McHale's Navy
• McHale's Navy Sing along

Ernest Borgnine discusses "Airwolf"

• Airwolf

Ernest Borgnine on voicing "Mermaid Man" on SpongeBob SquarePants

• Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

Ernest Borgnine Lifetime Achievement Award

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"I've been driving a cab here for 30 years and I'm telling you: you don't walk around here at night! Yes, sir! Those Crazies'll kill you and strip you in ten seconds flat!"
Cabbie (Ernest Borgnine), Escape From New York (1981)

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Harry Broderick Of Jettison Salvage Passed Away At Age 86

Harry Broderick Of Jettison Scrap & Salvage Passed Away At Age 86
3 July 2012
EventHorizon1984

 

We're not fond of obituaries.  Especially the passing of Andy Griffith, who portrayed many iconic characters. 

Our first Andy Griffith character memory was Will Stockdale of the movie No Time For Sergeants.  Followed by Onionhead. 

Much later he would make memorable television marks in his career with The Andy Griffith Show and Matlock.

Yet with the death of Andrew Samuel Griffith, and the mention of a few famous characters, we've created a Harry Broderick tiny pseudo-obituary.  If you're asking 'Harry who?', this short piece isn't for you.

"I want to build a spaceship, go to the moon, salvage all the junk that's up there, bring it back and sell it."
Harry Broderick (Andy Griffith), Jettison Scrap & Salvage Company, Salvage (1979)

For the few science fiction fans, of course Harry Broderick was the character portrayed by Andy Griffith in the television movie Salvage and the television series Salvage 1.

Not to be confused with Charles Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton) of the movie The Astronaut Farmer.  Charles Farmer built a rocket (2006), put himself into low Earth orbit and returned safely. 

Harry Broderick built a spaceship (1979), sent two people to the Moon and back.

"He's not really dead. As long as we remember him."
Leonard McCoy, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

And it is in science fiction that Andy Griffith's legacy lives on. 

On the television show Eureka (2006-2012), Sheriff Jack Carter (Colin Ferguson) was given the nickname "Mayberry".  Initially meant as an insult from Nathan Stark (Ed Quinn), it became less so over time. 

There's the character of Sheriff Andy, now Deputy Andy.  Ostensively "Andy" for "Android", but Sheriff Andy, Sheriff Andy Taylor, but we know better don't we?

Here's to Andy Griffith who gave us decades of fun.

Here's to Harry Broderick (Andy Griffith).  You didn't make it to the Moon, but you took us there. 

And part of you is there now in spirit.

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"We are heroes, Ben!"
"But we ain't dead!"  Benjamin B. Whitledge
"Well, that makes it even better don't it?"
Will Stockdale (Andy Griffith), No Time For Sergeants (1958)

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See Also Jettison Salvage Was Here.

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Update 2013.09.11

We goofed.  Although a newscaster at the beginning of the first episode "Dark Island" describes his location as the "Jettison Salvage yard", and Harry Broderick in the pilot answer's the phone as "Jettison Salvage", that's not the full name of fictional company.  Harry Broderick's company is not the "Jettison Salvage", but "Jettison Scrap & Salvage Company."  Apologies to all fans of the show.

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